Oscar, what?

The "Oscars" are on TV tonight. Not that I care. My wife and I are working hard in the study. But all the news websites are aglow with Oscar news.

I worked in L.A. from ’95 to ’97, and here’s how I feel about Hollywood. Hollywood is a rickety scaffolding of hard-working tradespeople, supporting a thin layer of gilt on top, all floating in a sea of crap. And the only reason Hollywood has tradespeople at all is a patchwork of guilds and unions. In short, I think Hollywood is no place for man or beast.

Now, if you love making movies and…all you ever think about is making movies and you can’t wait to make another movie, then… still think twice about going to Hollywood. TV isn’t much better, but its geographical center is New York. Plus, being an auteur indie is more valid and profitable than ever before, and you only need the internet for that.

In Hollywood, everyone’s a writer with a script under their arm. So many people have so many scripts, that there are services you can PAY to READ YOUR SCRIPT. Because no one else will.

Anyone who works with cameras, lights, vehicles, food, or other equipment will be worked like a dog and then dropped like a dirty rag. They’ll be paid well, but that just helps them get through the lean times, when no work is available.

And since every young, pretty, talented woman in America wants to chase her moviestar dreams, they all come to Hollywood. And the casting couch is very much alive and busy. Just the way it is.

But L.A. is a vast concrete jungle, so there are lots of parts of it which aren’t Hollywood. And there are lots of nice people who live there. But Hollywood?

No sir, ah don’t like it.

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